Altered Acquaintance (Part 1): When Access Is Not the Same as Trust.

Let's talk acquaintance.​

Yesterday, which was Sunday, I had the thought to write about a particular situation I experienced some years ago.I have this lady I grew up with, and a few years ago, her then-fiancé moved to Germany for a programme. There, he met another guy who was studying for his Masters and seemed to be in a financially challenging situation — he was looking for encouragement and advice on what options were available to him. She reached out to me to ask if her fiancé could share my number with this guy, so that I could speak with him and perhaps advise him on the options I might know of. I agreed, and the only reason I did was because I believed that anyone connected to them — anyone they allowed into their space — was someone reasonable and responsible. He called, we got talking, I listened to his situation, shared my own story of adjusting to life abroad, and gave him the options I knew of. After that conversation, we had some follow-up calls to check in on his progress. Then he started writing and calling a bit more often — to talk about his plans, to get to know me better, and because he had realised that my Masters was in a field where I could potentially start a business, he began progressing with that idea.After a while, the calls started coming late at night. I mean, we would talk until 11pm, sometimes midnight, even as late as 2am. All this time, I only knew his first name, and I held on to the fact that he had come through someone I grew up with — so there was no harm, I told myself.Then he said he wanted to meet. By this point, he was talking about me becoming a partner in the business he wanted to start, and I wasn't ready for that conversation. So he suggested we meet — that he could come and visit me, have lunch together, since one of the things we had talked about was food and how much he missed our local dishes. I didn't see any harm in that. I had cooked for people and had them over before. So I agreed, and we planned it for a Sunday afternoon.​

Meanwhile, because we were speaking so often — and so late into the night — I had already begun to sense that this person might be looking for something more than friendship. And yet, at the same time, I kept feeling that something was off about him.​

The day came. He lived about two hours away by train, and we agreed he would come to my place after church, which was to end around 12pm. I had cooked, set the table, and waited. He didn't show up even by 4pm — leaving messages each time with an explanation. The more time passed, the more unsettled I felt about the whole meeting.​

He finally arrived at around 6pm. I went to the train station to meet him, still unsettled in my spirit. When he saw me, he came over and gave me a hug, and I felt even more uncomfortable. I told him that since we were supposed to have lunch and it was now dinner, we needed to be quick so he could get the train back — it being a two-hour journey. He said it was fine, that he could stay as late as he wanted, it was no problem.​

That response worried me even more. I started asking myself — what kind of people does this lady I grew up with surround herself with? Or is this someone she doesn't even really know, but still gave him access to me?​

That aside, we got to my place. I quickly reheated the food, which had long gone cold, and we sat down to eat. That is when I noticed how touchy he was — reaching for my hands, coming around to place his hands on my shoulders. I stopped him and asked if everything was alright and why he was being so physical with me. He said that was just his nature — that he was playful, and even his friends knew he liked to touch.​

I made it very clear to him that that kind of behaviour was inappropriate and unhealthy.​

Then the Holy Spirit whispered to me — ask him if he is married. Because the way he was carrying on, he was acting like someone who wanted to pursue a relationship, and yet he had said very little about himself. So the evening continued. We talked about the business again and he raised the partnership idea once more. I told him plainly — I don't even know you that well. How could I say yes to being your business partner? Our conversation had started with me offering support and advice, and had grown from there. But if at this point you want to start something as serious as a business and you need me as a partner, I now need to know who you actually are. I hadn't needed that information before — it wasn't necessary then. But now it was.​

So I asked. What is your last name? He told me. And then I asked — are you married?​

I noticed he became reluctant to answer. So I opened my laptop, which was sitting in front of me, went straight to Facebook, and typed in his full name. As I did it, I said to him — "Since you don't want to give me an answer, I'll find it myself."​

He started to respond — and at the same moment, Facebook returned his profile. Background picture: him, his wife, and their three sons.​

To keep the journals concise, I will continue this story in the next one. Until then, remember — the Holy Spirit is always there to help us out of any situation.​

If you already learned something from this piece, leave a comment below, share it with someone, and subscribe to receive more altering moments that can help us draw closer to God. Until the next journal — stay blessed!​